I like to meditate, sometimes got so into it that I became quite peculiar. I often suspect that I do not belong to this era. Close friends know that I am very fond of singer Eason Chan’s 1874. I like it not because of the movie, but because of the lyrics.
“Why couldn’t I make it in time to be born in 1874? Be earlier by exactly 100 years, an era……though unacquainted & unrelated as contemporaries, but at least, could live and die in the same era.”
If I were born in 1874, then what I experienced would relate to one of China’s most turbulent eras. The weakness of late Qing; the invasion of the Great Powers; the signing of the Treaty of 1901; country invaded, internal strifes; Japanese occupation; the 9.18 Mukden Incident; 7.7 Marco Polo Bridge Incident, The Nanking Massacre, the post 1949 Chinese cultural revolution, so on and so forth. All these and more, during China’s most turbulent era in the past century, inflicted the people with ineffaceable pain, and hatred, too.
The elders told me it is a blessing not to be born into that era!
True, what I know about that era is either from books or documentary films. I did not experience its turbulence nor endure it. But perhaps of my wont to transport myself through contemplation: the despair, the pain, that moment of hopelessness, that indelible hatred; I felt as if I had been through them!
If I were living in that era, I would step out; step out alongside the national army to protect homes and country, and to defend: our motherland and her honor, the citizens’ properties and wealth, the citizens’ lives, and most of all, the citizens’ dignity. Even though during that era staying alive was no easy task, but to lose my country - I would rather risk my life and shed blood, at least, it was done in the name of nationalism!
Truly, living in this present society, I sometimes feel distress. Distress, really it should be bliss! I live in Hong Kong, a prosperous and vigorous city with hardly any natural calamites, and well-protected by motherland, to boot; in my opinion, it is a patch of Heaven’s playground. To be able to live here is indeed a blessing!
But, oftentimes when immersed in happiness, one tends to become overly pampered, therefore, one tends to become more demanding of this and that from life; one tends to be more demanding of this and that from Hong Kong; one tends to become more demanding of this and that from the country. So, what of one’s own demands of oneself?
Mankind’s greatest shortcoming has to be if they make no demands of themselves. People who have no demands of themselves tend to become irresponsible, habitually shifting responsibilities onto others, while conversely becoming overly demanding of others.
If I were like that, I would soon become a zombie, a person of no tomorrows!
Although this may not be the only approach, it is one of them, which is, to bow one’s head in introspection. Introspection is the best approach because the answers are usually found during the self-reflecting process. Whatever I could do today, I’d first ask myself before I ask others; before I take, I’d ask my contribution first; before I ask tomorrow, I’d ask yesterday first!
Maybe my love for 1874 is because I want to ask 1874!
translator: Tamaya
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