圖文並謬 - Captions show Steven to be a person of inner conflicts and contradictory traits

Loneliness, who isn't afraid of it
Sometimes, look to merriment to expel this fear
Sometimes, only wanting a flicker of light; just that.

Pg140

The nights tend to evoke musing.
The glitzy colorful lights, the feasting and debauchery;
A solitary person, doing what?
Drinking, dancing, or singing with company, or chatting incessantly
After that, still a solitary person; a person alone, yet again.

People, inside their hearts generally have a docking place. 
Nonstop searching, round and round, looking back
To discover they were actually already at the dock.

Behind the doors locked away are stories upon stories
Behind each story is another door
Closed, locked; who can open, who can unearth
A door, a window
A perceptive gaze, drifting in the air; who understands, who knows pg152

Truth, is usually difficult for people to cope
Mask discarded, baring all before each other,
perhaps that's the height of courage
But upon recollection, will realize it is really no big deal.
Pg 142

Helplessness, at anytime and anyplace will drop by, unannounced
Sometimes, catching one totally off guard
Sometimes, a date was made but no show.
Pg 145

Sometimes, I’m really torn
Fear loneliness, yet fear merriment, too
How to find a balance? Does equilibrium even exists?
I really don’t know how.
Pg 150

I’m very competitive yet I’ll concede defeat
Win or lose, too many variables at play that are outside a person's control
Anyway, it serves as my motivation
Winning is victory, losing is defeat, I did my best, what’s there to fear
Self-confidence may not necessarily ensure a win, but without it, you will sure to lose. pg 147

Some people said every situation, like a silver coin, generally has two sides to it.
I’ve always disagreed.
Head or tail, sideways, rotates 360 degrees or spins 720
So what?
Different angles of incidence, moreover, position of the two sides also differs
So where come two sides?

source: book - 图文並谬
pix source: Steven Ma yahoo blog

Initially Steven’s questioning the two sides of a coin puzzled me (above). Of course, there are always two (flip) sides to a situation - that's a given, right? But now I get his viewpoint on this matter.

My interpretation: Different perceptions or viewpoints on a situation often originated from different departure points, so the paths of getting to final pov are not limited to just 2 sides of pov but myriad povs depending on the path taken.  To elaborate, our differing viewpoints maybe as polarized and mutually exclusive as the flip (2) sides of a coin, but with the same token, our differences may have deviated by just degrees unlike the 2 dimension sides of coin. Recall the 3 blind men and an elephant. But of course, some situations may just have two opposing sides to it, but not invariably.  In the picture, views and positions change according to the angle of incidence according to influencing variables on the way to destination/pov.

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I first got an inkling of Steven's contradictory traits in this 1999 news report
"Steven in real life has set high standards for himself. Whatever he does, it has to be done well. He says he has a dual personality. During the day under the bright sunlight, he is lively and outgoing. But come nightfall, under the darkened sky, he likes to be alone with his thoughts, quietly meditating on stuff."

My 2010 commentary: Steven man of contrasts
Steven is a person of contrasts/contradictory traits  – he has a boyish look but possesses a deep, booming masculine voice. His looks changes constantly: in some pictures he looks youthful and boyish; in others, he looks haggard and older. His eyes sometimes single lidded, other times double lidded. His eye bags come and go. On screen he always presents a sunny and cheerful personality; in writings, he shows a more somber personality. On tv he is always surrounded by people or entertaining others; but in his writing he seems so solitary and very private, striving to look for equilibrium in his life. To me, Steven is most true to himself when he is writing. In his recent book, he left a piece of himself in it, generously inviting his readers to get to know him better.