Saturday, October 16, 2010

If - If Only


If only (Yu guo) are two words that are filled with hope. 
Life on earth, these two words “if only”, for sure their usage during our lifetime is not limited to just mean “don’t comprehend”; I don’t think!  Truly, did you notice, actually the denotation of “if” is broad and diverse.  Besides denoting something yet to happen, yet to appear, yet to finish, it is also connotative with unspoken, underlying meanings of a change, a yen, an aspiration and of a need.  

They are all in these two words, just two words.
Writing thus, I dare not carelessly utter “yu guo”!
For yet to happen: I wish if the finale could end like this, it would be so good!
For already happened: I imagine if the finale had ended like this, it would have been so much better!
In actuality, is “if” my selfish desire or is it my expectation?
In actuality, is “if” my expectation or is it my fantasy?
Furthermore, “if” is only my fantasy, then should it be an ‘if”?
If “if” means “possible”, then this “if” may happen.
If “if” means the impossible, then this “if” is pitiful.
Also if “if” is just an “if” then why bother with if?
In short, does “if” only denote a “possible result”? 
Or does it denote “per my wishful thinking kind of result”?
Don’t know and don’t dare to presume!
But I myself have many “ifs”!
If.. people can be more tolerant;
If.. people can be more empathic;
If.. people can be less self-centered;
Or maybe if.. the world can be more peaceful,
More tranquil, more beautiful;
Would it be much better?
If my “ifs” are all wishful thinking…
If my “ifs” can all come true…

pp 117

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