One Pen Ma: From Smiling to Crying

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Column:One Pen Ma
Date:12/15/2011

From Smiling to Crying
There’s this saying: When young, always cry, cry, but in the end, smile; when grown, always smile, smile, but in the end, cry. I quite like this saying, simple and direct. When people grew up, they often lost that simplicity and courage of the past. When young if wanted to smile, then smile; if wanted to cry, then cry.  But now, uttering a word or emoting an expression sometimes requires thinking twice. Actually can’t blame this on anybody. Within the adult word, there’s this set of rules for the adults. 

This set of rules I have already grasped from young, courtesy of my early entry into the work force, plus my early work experiences were in sales dealing with people day in day out. Said I don't understand this human attitude or its rationale? That would be fibbing you. But, what "I understand" and "what I do" are two different things.

I’m a discerning person but at the same time I’m also a person who holds fast to my principles. I will embrace all matters that are reasonable, fair and legitimate with alacrity. Conversely, when faced with matter that is unacceptable, or unlawful, or unjust, I will without hesitation say: “No way.” 

Having live till now, I’m proud of myself for shunning the crooked road. Maybe some people would say I’m too “upright” or too stubborn, but to be able to travel the right path as the real me, the smile is genuine.
TN: I like this article a lot. It reinforcing Steven's literary eloquence.
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similar article, Black and White, from Steven's book

Black and White

黑與白

Truths and lies, are they separated only by a thin line?

A person’s courage to tell lies over truth is generally greater and bolder. So the ability to fib is inborn? I believe it is definitely not so.

Babies cried when born because even before their eyes were open, their butt got hit. You hit me, I cry. Very fair! I’m hungry, need milk. I can’t speak so I cry. Very straightforward! Learning to speak, can only gibber ‘ma’, nothing else. So what? Very honest! At walking stage, learns to walk. When sees something I like; I laugh. When dislikes; I cry. Who scares of whom? Very brave indeed! That’s how it should be. So genuine. so realistic, so adorable! But, don’t know when, someone will appear who teaches not to do this, not to speak thus. Let me clarify first, that very person is not teaching you to lie, only that, by doing this will ease your way.

I believe this is them showing their love and affection for you. What is sad is that the previously simple and honest thoughts are now colored with a great amount of gray. The thought processing has become inexplicably complicated. And spoken words are now more reserved. Thus the heart and mouth are not in tune with each other. But then, this can be said a good thing or maybe can be said it is a maturation.

Of course, if discreetly and aptly handled, this is a sophisticated set of social skills in human interactions. But what if it is not?

Actually, for me, truths and lies are dichotomous. Regardless of how beautiful a lie is or how cruel a truth is; a lie, say it a trillion times, is still a lie; whereas a truth, though unspoken, is still the reality.

Of course, if it is spoken out of kindness, I won’t call it a lie then. But those spoken to gain power, or fame, or for personal agenda, or for covering up the truth, then I call it despicable and horrifying.

So, who taught you to become so honestly beautiful? And who taught you to be become so despicably ugly?

So actually, black and white are really quite beautiful!

pp106 – 107