MetroHK article: 男人破迷惘 馬浚偉

男人破迷惘 馬浚偉
2014 June 6
source: metrohk.com

As the Chinese saying goes, “men at age 40 blossom like flowers”, and at age 42 Steven Ma is right now in his prime. The career mind Steven, like a workaholic, has been working nonstop in recent years, and as yet remains unmarried.  Recently, he personally produced a mini movie entitled “Father Bus”《爸士》as a tribute to his father.  Actually all along Steven has this wish to get married and have children but unfortunately his relationship with long time (ex) girlfriend suffers successive separations and reconciliations, ever decisive in his career Steven is presently at a loss with his love life.

As a first time producer and scriptwriter, Steven’s mini movie “Father Bus” is both a tribute and a Father’s Day gift to his bus driver father. The movie premise is inspired by Steven’s own childhood environment and memories. Steven says: "The boy in the mv (Chun Jai) is me as child. I myself portrayed my father.”  Most people have fuzzy childhood memories but Steven’s childhood recollection is distinct, even down to the details!  He says: “I remember things that happened when young, like how in the mv my father slaps me when in real life he canned me with a rattan, and how the si-nai (neighbor) calls me an ill-bred; that actually happened too.” The actual event was during one mid-autumn festival when Steven was about five years old. In the incident, the neighbor’s child tossed his/her burned lantern into a trash can which Steven later picked up to play. When the neighbor saw that she scolded him for being an ill-bred with no manners and even scolded his mother who was there!

An almost forty-year-old incident but Steven still remembers it, and what’s more, even had it filmed into mv.  But Steven denies holding a grudge, he smiles and says: “I’m not being vengeful; that si-nai is not even here anymore.  I’m not angry at her but that I want people to know that “ill-bred”『無家教』*, this term is very extreme. I myself think my whole family is well bred with good manners. In the mv when the si-nai scolds Chun Jai, I wanted Chun Jai to lift up his head and say: “What did you say!?”  Because at the time I was young so did not dare to talk back. This mv can say what I had wanted to say at the time. That’s the fun of creativity. The boy is indeed at fault and the si-na is not wrong to scold him but this matter has nothing to do with upbringing.( 家教). I hope people understand the denotation of “upbringing”."

Even when young, Steven was well-behaved and dared not stepped out of line. The most reckless was climbing a hill without his parents' knowledge. When probed further, he says during high school he did 「擸嘢晒馬」**. He laughs and says: “At that time my Band 5 class (ie. Grade 11) had many dark-skin students. Most of them studied either carpentry or metal works, and they all owned a T-ruler, a spanner, a saw and a screwdriver etc. One time a classmate was “teased” by a group of boys from a neighboring school, He was beaten and had his money taken. We knew the boys hung out on this basketball court. So after school, still wearing our uniforms, some of us in our mighty bravado, equipped with our “tools” we rushed down to the basketball court in full force. Very thankful the fight did not pan out because a classmate knew them and so seeing we were all friends, we let it go. Had the fight took place, some could have been beaten to death. That’s the naughtiest stuff I did when young. After that I didn’t dare participate in this kind of activity.”   

Decent by nature, Steven did not go astray all because of his late mother’s teaching. But after her passing Steven suffered a mood disorder, and from 2000 thru 2003 he had had thoughts of committing suicide.  Steven recalls: “There was a time when I felt lost because prior (to his mother’s death) I had my whole energy and spirit put into taking care of mother. With her gone, my spiritual pillar simply crumbled. Even though I’m fine now, there’s still a lingering shadow such as the house phone ringing, or the knocking on the door. They all evoke memories of my mother’s situations; so very scared the phone ringing was the hospital calling, and also recall my father knocking on my bedroom door telling me that mother had taken a turn for the worse and had to be rushed to the emergency in the hospital. So now there is no phone installed inside my house and family members will not knock on my bedroom door.”Steven is glad he did not commit suicide then, and now that he is a Christian, there is even less chance of him taking his own life; he still has to take care of his father and family!



Steven and his red wine business girlfriend, Xu Hui Ling (許慧玲), have been in a relationship for many years.  Towards their relationship Steven says: Before, we had plans to get married but in the past two years of frequent breaking up and getting back together, everything becomes unstable.  Don’t know what’s missing.  I can only say that she is an important part of my life. What’s in the future, I dare not say. (Not your marriage partner?)  “We don’t know, let fate decide la.”   He says his father never urges him to get married.  Steven smiles and says: “He doesn't have to say it.  I know he really wants to drink the daughter-in-law’s tea and to hold his grandchild in his arms, but he never vocally speaks up. He will not give me pressure. Filial piety can only go so far, I can’t suddenly get married just so father will not worry."

Although the timing for marriage has not arrived yet, Steven has already contemplated on how to be a good father.  Looking much like a kindly father, he says: “Even though we weren't rich when young but we had love aplenty. We were very close-knitted; seldom argued or fought over money or be suspicious of each other. Our parents did not especially teach us that, rather they taught by example. How parents treat their own parents, their children will in turn treat them as such.” 

Steven laughs and says he is all talk only.  He say: “All talk only, when time comes to teach my child I bet I would become a putty dough. I enjoy talking with young children. I may look strict when talking but not necessarily be able to enforce.” Strict verbally but actually a kindly father.  He pauses and says laughingly that the chance of ‘mommy’ being the villain is higher. “Will have to see how naughty the bb is. I won’t carelessly spoil the child.  When young, should undergo some adversity, have a simple life; these I think I will pay attention to. I won’t force the child’s growth. I believe moral conduct development is more important than academic knowledge development. My father never demanded my grades to be at certain levels only that I should be well grounded."


*『無家教』= parents did not educate child in good manners and propriety therefore child is ill-bred.
**擸嘢晒馬 = I've no idea what the phrase means.

first posted Jun 5, 2014

-- Chinese ---------

男人破迷惘 馬浚偉
俗語有話「男人四十一枝花」，42歲的馬浚偉（馬仔）亦正值男人的黃金時期，一向事業心重的他近年像工作狂一樣做不停，至今仍未成家。近日他親自監製音樂微電影《爸士》向爸爸致敬，原來馬仔骨子裏亦有成家立室、生兒育女的願望，只可惜與相戀多年的女友多次離離合合，在事業上甚有主見的他，對感情路就有「待破的迷惘」。

馬仔首個親自監製、編劇的音樂微電影《爸士》是向曾做巴士司機的爸爸致敬，亦是今年送給爸爸的父親節禮物！整個故事的構思是根據馬仔成長環境及回憶來拍，馬仔說：「MV入面小朋友（俊仔）就係細個嘅我，我就飾演爸爸。」 很多人談起小起候印象都模糊，不過馬仔卻記憶猶新，連細節都記得清清楚楚！他說：「細個發生嘅事我記得好清楚，正如MV入面阿爸用手打咗我一巴，其實佢當年係用藤條打嘅，而師奶鬧我冇家教就真係有發生。」原來此事發生在馬仔5歲那年的中秋節，當時鄰家小孩將燒穿了的燈籠丟在垃圾桶，馬仔就執來玩，那位師奶見到就罵他沒有家教，連在場的馬媽媽都要捱罵！

近40年前的事依然記住，還拍成MV，但馬仔否認懷恨在心，他笑說：「唔係因為記仇，嗰位師奶已經唔喺度，我冇嬲佢，但係想話畀大家聽，『無家教』係一句好盡嘅說話，我自問全家都好有家教。喺MV裏面個師奶鬧俊仔，我要俊仔抬頭講：『你講咩呀！』因為當時我細個唔敢講，喺MV可以講番我當時想講嘅嘢，創作就係咁得意，小朋友係唔啱，個師奶鬧佢都冇錯，不過呢樣嘢同家教冇關，我希望大家明白咩係家教。」
廿幾人球場晒馬

馬仔從小已經很乖巧，不敢做越軌的事，最多只是瞞住父母偷偷去爬山，細問之下，原來他中學時期亦曾試過「擸嘢晒馬」，他笑說：「當時我哋間Band 5學校好多黑學生，大部分學生讀木工、金工都有T尺、士巴拿、鋸片、螺絲批等，有次同班同學畀隔籬學校男仔『逗』，仲搶埋錢兼打一鑊，我哋知佢哋成日喺球場蒲，於是我哋放學就着住工衣，廿幾人浩浩蕩蕩帶埋『工具』殺落球場度，好感恩最後打唔成，因為其中有同學識佢哋，大家話自己友算啦，如果打得成分分鐘打死人！細個最曳就係呢件事，之後都唔敢再參與呢啲活動！」

母親離世曾想自殺
本性善良的馬仔沒有誤入歧途，全因馬媽媽的教導。但隨着她去世後，馬仔卻患了情緒病，大約在00至03年間更想過自殺，馬仔憶述：「曾經有一刻，完全覺得好Lost，因為之前成副精神都擺晒落去照顧媽咪，佢一走咗就冇咗精神支柱，雖然我依家無事，但有啲嘢我都有陰影，例如屋企電話聲同敲門聲，我會諗返起當時媽咪個情況，好怕係醫院打嚟，同埋會諗返我阿爸三更半夜敲我房門話阿媽唔得喇，要即刻去急症室，所以到依家我屋企冇電話，我屋企人亦唔會敲我房門。」馬仔慶幸當時沒有自殺，現已成為基督徒的他更不會有輕生念頭，他還有爸爸及成頭家要養啊！

未係結婚時機
馬仔與做紅酒生意的圈外女友許慧玲相戀多年，對於現時感情狀況，馬仔說：「之前曾經有Plan（結婚），不過呢兩年離離合合，一切都唔係咁穩定，唔知差啲咩，只能講佢喺我生命裏好重要， 往後嘅嘢我唔敢講。（未係結婚對象？）大家都未知想點，隨緣啦。」他更說父親從未向他催婚，馬仔笑說：「佢唔使開口，我都知佢恨飲新抱茶同抱孫，不過佢從來唔會出聲，唔會畀壓力我， 孝順還孝順，都唔可以為咗阿爸憂心而突然間結婚。」

馬家教仔秘技
結婚時機雖未到，但馬仔已諗定如何做個好爸爸，他一副慈父樣說：「我哋細個雖然冇錢，但好有愛，成家人好Close，從來都唔會嗌交、為錢爭拗，亦唔會互相猜度，父母從來冇教過，但係佢哋身教已經做咗，父母點樣對佢哋自己嘅媽咪爹哋，仔女就會點樣對自己。」馬仔笑言自己得個講字：「講就得，到我真係教仔嗰陣，我諗我會變咗粉團，我好鍾意同小朋友傾偈，我講就講到好嚴，但做就未必得。」口裏說嚴，實際上卻是慈父，他想了想亦笑言將來「媽咪」做反派的機會比較大：「睇下BB曳成點啦，我唔會亂寵小朋友， 細個要捱下、簡單啲，我諗呢樣嘢我會捉得好緊，我亦唔會催谷小朋友，我覺得德行重要過知識，阿爸冇要求過我考試成績要幾高分，淨係想我個人生踏踏實實。」

場地：觀塘帝盛酒店
化妝、髮型：RickyKAZAF