06年寫散文一篇
Hi everybody! Haven’t been here for a long time.
How’s everybody? I’m fine, don’t worry!
Just wrapped up Salt Traders, will take a 2-week break this month.
First, to recharge myself; second, to reorganize and prepare my pictorial journal which I plan to publish this year. Right now I have about 40 articles done, would have to write some 20 odd more. I plan to get this done during my time-off. Hopefully, it will go smoothly!
While going through my papers, I came across my 2006 essay entitled, “4 Big Charges”.
Haha! Recently, didn’t the tabloids charge me with committing “5 Big Crimes”? So when I happened on my past essay, I couldn’t help but laugh aloud…!
I’m not going to explain or rebut in here; only that in my mirth, I thought of sharing this “4 Big Charges” essay with you all.
Four Big Charges? "四大罪狀" Written: 2006 -5 -18 Stars' Words (星語心聲)
Friends say my behavior is too overly calm and collected; sometimes coming across as aloofness. Friends say my lifestyle is too overly cautious; that this kind of lifestyle is way too monotonous. Friends say I’m too pragmatic in my approach to problems; that my words and deeds are incongruous to my age. Friends say my heart is too reserved; that I don’t ever share my innermost feelings. I accept each and every one of these opinions of me; but as to who’s right and who’s wrong, it’s all very subjective. With that in mind, let me then unreservedly reveal my innermost feelings here, so as to allay my friends’ incomprehension of me.
Say my behavior is too overly calm and collected. Why “overly”? What’s wrong with being calm and collected? As an adult, when confronting problems and feelings alike, all should be calmly analyzed and subsequently dealt with. To clearly analyze a situation, preconception and feelings must be put aside as well as partiality and self-interest, only then can one see the whole picture of the situation. In the process, the demeanor might be detached, but if that is considered aloofness, then so be it.
Say I’m too overly cautious? I see that as being self-disciplined. Friends love to tease me; that my personality is more suited to being a military personnel or to a career in the field of discipline work. I concede I do have my own set of principles such as: never be late for anything, never drink and drive; never touch pornography, illicit drugs and gambling; never submit to extortion; respect Chinese traditional beliefs and subscribe to Chinese learned scholars’ philosophies, etc. So long they don’t intrude on others, I will persist with my set of disciplines. I’m happy as I am! Where’s the monotonousness? If this is considered overly cautious, then let me be it!
Say I handle problems too pragmatically, this may be true. In high school, I worked as a store clerk after school for 3 years. After graduation, I worked in sales for three different companies, These 7 years of valued experience made me worldly and helped honed my people skill. Later, I was fortunate to enter the entertainment industry whose fickleness also hastened my maturity. Perhaps these life experiences have overly ‘matured’ me in addition to my passion for reading and words. Sometimes without meaning to, I might come across like a old fashioned senior citizen. 老气横秋 but I didn’t mean to lecture. Friends, if you were offended, please do forgive me!
Say my heart is too reserved, unwilling to open up; this is a misunderstanding. I’m a person who likes straight talks with friends. To engage in heart-to-heart chats with friends is very enjoyable, regardless of whether the topic is pleasant or unpleasant; if we could speak our minds freely then I'm more than contented. However, for a heart-to-heart chat to happen; the timing, the people, the place and the ambience must come together for it to work. To listen or to talk about innermost feelings, all parties must be willing to do so, if not, then it defeats the purpose. Furthermore, why spoil a mood with sad talks? 本来无伤感，何必道哀愁? When friends get together, it is not necessary to swap sad stories with teary eyes for it to be a heart-to-heart chat. Right?
translator: tamaya
