06年寫散文一篇
Hi everybody! Haven’t been here for a long time.
How’s everybody? I’m fine, don’t worry!
Just wrapped up Salt Traders, will take a 2-week break this month.
First, to recharge myself; second, to reorganize and prepare my pictorial journal which I plan to publish this year. Right now I have about 40 articles done, would have to write some 20 odd more. I plan to get this done during my time-off. Hopefully, it will go smoothly!
While going through my papers, I came across my 2006 essay entitled, “4 Big Charges”.
Haha! Recently, didn’t the tabloids charge me with committing “5 Big Crimes”? So when I happened on my past essay, I couldn’t help but laugh aloud…!
I’m not going to explain or rebut in here; only that in my mirth, I thought of sharing this “4 Big Charges” essay with you all.
Four Big Charges? "四大罪狀" Written: 2006 -5 -18 Stars' Words (星語心聲)
Friends say my behavior is too overly calm and collected; sometimes coming across as aloofness. Friends say my lifestyle is too overly cautious; that this kind of lifestyle is way too monotonous. Friends say I’m too pragmatic in my approach to problems; that my words and deeds are incongruous to my age. Friends say my heart is too reserved; that I don’t ever share my innermost feelings. I accept each and every one of these opinions of me; but as to who’s right and who’s wrong, it’s all very subjective. With that in mind, let me then unreservedly reveal my innermost feelings here, so as to allay my friends’ incomprehension of me.
Say my behavior is too overly calm and collected. Why “overly”? What’s wrong with being calm and collected? As an adult, when confronting problems and feelings alike, all should be calmly analyzed and subsequently dealt with. To clearly analyze a situation, preconception and feelings must be put aside as well as partiality and self-interest, only then can one see the whole picture of the situation. In the process, the demeanor might be detached, but if that is considered aloofness, then so be it.
Say I’m too overly cautious? I see that as being self-disciplined. Friends love to tease me; that my personality is more suited to being a military personnel or to a career in the field of discipline work. I concede I do have my own set of principles such as: never be late for anything, never drink and drive; never touch pornography, illicit drugs and gambling; never submit to extortion; respect Chinese traditional beliefs and subscribe to Chinese learned scholars’ philosophies, etc. So long they don’t intrude on others, I will persist with my set of disciplines. I’m happy as I am! Where’s the monotonousness? If this is considered overly cautious, then let me be it!
Say I handle problems too pragmatically, this may be true. In high school, I worked as a store clerk after school for 3 years. After graduation, I worked in sales for three different companies, These 7 years of valued experience made me worldly and helped honed my people skill. Later, I was fortunate to enter the entertainment industry whose fickleness also hastened my maturity. Perhaps these life experiences have overly ‘matured’ me in addition to my passion for reading and words. Sometimes without meaning to, I might come across like a old fashioned senior citizen. 老气横秋 but I didn’t mean to lecture. Friends, if you were offended, please do forgive me!
Say my heart is too reserved, unwilling to open up; this is a misunderstanding. I’m a person who likes straight talks with friends. To engage in heart-to-heart chats with friends is very enjoyable, regardless of whether the topic is pleasant or unpleasant; if we could speak our minds freely then I'm more than contented. However, for a heart-to-heart chat to happen; the timing, the people, the place and the ambience must come together for it to work. To listen or to talk about innermost feelings, all parties must be willing to do so, if not, then it defeats the purpose. Furthermore, why spoil a mood with sad talks? 本来无伤感，何必道哀愁? When friends get together, it is not necessary to swap sad stories with teary eyes for it to be a heart-to-heart chat. Right?
今年會推出的個人首本散文照片集,手上的文章已有四十多篇, 估計要多寫二十篇左右, 所以打算在這假期內完成它, 希望一切順利吧! 在整理文章時, 發現自己在06年寫了一篇文, 題目是"四大罪狀"。
哈哈, 我最近不是被某雜誌說我犯了"五宗罪"嗎, 我一看到自己寫過的這篇文章, 真的忍不住笑了出來.......!
沒打算在這裡解釋或反駁什麽, 只想笑著笑著, 和你們分享這篇"四大罪狀"。 2006-05-18 星語心聲 四大罪狀？
朋友說我為人太冷靜，有時更叫人感冷漠。朋友說我生活太拘謹，這樣的人生很沒趣。朋友說我處事太老成，言行與年齡不相稱。朋友說我心靈太緊閉，從不分享內裏深情。我接受各樣各種於我之觀感出現，但，孰對孰錯，則很主觀。既然如此，就讓我來個深情剖白，以解朋友心中之謎。
說我為人太冷靜。何為「太」？冷靜又何錯之有？已為成年人，遇事遇情，均應冷靜分析，再作處理。要清楚分析事情，必先放下個人觀感與情意，從一無私心，棄個人喜好之角度出發，方能窺探事情之內在，事件的全部。過程中，難免木無表情，若因此被等同為冷漠，那無話可說。
說我太拘謹？我認為是紀律。朋友愛笑我，以我的性格，最適合當軍人，或是在紀律部隊工作。我承認，我有一套生活規條，例如：從不容許自己遲到、喝了酒絕不駕車、從不接觸黃賭毒、不向惡勢力妥協、尊崇中國人傳統思想觀念、堅信儒家思想等。……在不影響別人情況下，堅守這套自我紀律，我樂在其中！那來沒趣？若這叫拘謹，就讓我拘謹吧！
說我處事太老成，這也許屬實。在中學時期，課餘後我當兼職店務員，一當三年。畢業後，先後於四年內在三家公司從事市場銷售工作。這七年寶貴經驗，使我學會待人接物，做人處世之技巧。及後有幸晉身演藝界，在這一日百變的娛樂圈內，也催促我心之成長。這些人生之體驗，或許已使我過於「早熟」，加上我愛讀書問字，有時會不自覺變得老氣橫秋，但全無教訓之意。朋友，若感不快，請見諒！
說我緊閉心靈，不願交心，這絕對是誤解！我是一個喜歡與朋友打開心窗說亮話的人。與朋友互訴心聲，這是樂事。不管內容是甘也好，苦也好，能暢所欲言，已感滿足。只是，要盡訴心中情，也得在時間、人物、地點和氣氛配合下，才能達到！要聽或說心事，都要心甘情願，若勉為其難，就沒意義。再者，本來無傷感，何必道哀愁？朋友相交，不一定要說悲道苦，熱淚盈眶，才算交心！對嗎？
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