2007-03-04 04:05
Haven’t been here for quite a while. How’s everybody? Here’s a belated best wishes greeting: Here’s hoping everyone is healthy and happy everyday!
I didn’t plan on updating my blog today, but I’d just finished watching some dvd, and since I’m still not tired, decided to get online. Only then did I realize that I’d not visited my ‘home’ for quite sometime!
Life’s profundity is that: it is difficult to grasp, and also difficult to foreseen!
Truly, who can penetrate life?
I don’t know, truly don’t know!
These past few days, things happened. Happy, unhappy? Like, dislike? Or perhaps smooth sailing, rough sailing?...all of them!
Sometimes, I felt compelled to look myself in the mirror and ask: What did I do wrong? Why does God keep testing me? Of course, I meant not just work related trials but, also, all sorts of trials and tribulations experienced in life journey!
I’ve always considered myself a traditional Chow Chew ‘real’ man: one shoulder supporting the weight of a home, the other upholding a piece of sky! Truth be told, even now, I still think that way! Maybe, this is just my one-track viewpoint, but this belief has sustained me.
But, sometimes, I feel so weary!
“Real” man? How to be one? Perhaps my father’s influence on me is truly too strong!
My father was a public transportation bus driver of 30 odd years. Since young till now, I have honestly never heard my father gripe about anything at all, or seen him displayed any nervousness or fear before me. Even when Mother passed away, he was calm. His conduct and demeanor had always made us feel calm and secure, that father was always there to take care of things.
Until that one day, the day I’ll always remember; the day of my mother’s funeral service. I distinctly remember that very minute when the coffin was about to be sealed, Father finally broke down in tears! At that time, my whole family, the relatives and good friends, all sobbed uncontrollably...except me, I didn’t dare to cry!
Didn’t dare? Hardly an exaggeration! Honestly, when even the master of the house could not hold back manly tears, which over the years I had never witnessed before, as the now self newly appointed man of the house, how could I dare cry?
Perhaps, you’ll laugh to think I over exaggerate, or that I over dramatize, but that was truly my irrefutable feelings of that moment, henceforth, forever imprinted indelibly in my heart!
Be that I was only pretending to be strong, or that I was actually weak; or question if I could truly hold on, or perhaps just putting on an act - So what if I was? That’s not important!
Anyway, I can hold on!
Don’t worry, I truly can hold on!
I remember when Mother passed away in the hospital, after completing the forms, we got into the car; the first song from the radio was Gigi Leung’s (梁詠琪) ‘Today’.
I will now share a section of the song's lyrics that touched me the most:
別了依然相信, 以後有緣再聚, 未曾重遇以前, 要珍惜愛自己,
在最好時刻分離,不要流眼淚, 就承諾在某年, 某一天, 某地點, 再見!
Farewell, still believe, if predestined we’ll meet again.
Meanwhile, please take good care of yourself
We parted at the best of times, please don’t cry,
let’s promise to meet on a certain year, a certain day, a certain place.
Zai Jian.
source: steven ma yahoo blogI didn’t plan on updating my blog today, but I’d just finished watching some dvd, and since I’m still not tired, decided to get online. Only then did I realize that I’d not visited my ‘home’ for quite sometime!
Life’s profundity is that: it is difficult to grasp, and also difficult to foreseen!
Truly, who can penetrate life?
I don’t know, truly don’t know!
These past few days, things happened. Happy, unhappy? Like, dislike? Or perhaps smooth sailing, rough sailing?...all of them!
Sometimes, I felt compelled to look myself in the mirror and ask: What did I do wrong? Why does God keep testing me? Of course, I meant not just work related trials but, also, all sorts of trials and tribulations experienced in life journey!
I’ve always considered myself a traditional Chow Chew ‘real’ man: one shoulder supporting the weight of a home, the other upholding a piece of sky! Truth be told, even now, I still think that way! Maybe, this is just my one-track viewpoint, but this belief has sustained me.
But, sometimes, I feel so weary!
“Real” man? How to be one? Perhaps my father’s influence on me is truly too strong!
My father was a public transportation bus driver of 30 odd years. Since young till now, I have honestly never heard my father gripe about anything at all, or seen him displayed any nervousness or fear before me. Even when Mother passed away, he was calm. His conduct and demeanor had always made us feel calm and secure, that father was always there to take care of things.
Until that one day, the day I’ll always remember; the day of my mother’s funeral service. I distinctly remember that very minute when the coffin was about to be sealed, Father finally broke down in tears! At that time, my whole family, the relatives and good friends, all sobbed uncontrollably...except me, I didn’t dare to cry!
Didn’t dare? Hardly an exaggeration! Honestly, when even the master of the house could not hold back manly tears, which over the years I had never witnessed before, as the now self newly appointed man of the house, how could I dare cry?
Perhaps, you’ll laugh to think I over exaggerate, or that I over dramatize, but that was truly my irrefutable feelings of that moment, henceforth, forever imprinted indelibly in my heart!
Be that I was only pretending to be strong, or that I was actually weak; or question if I could truly hold on, or perhaps just putting on an act - So what if I was? That’s not important!
Anyway, I can hold on!
Don’t worry, I truly can hold on!
I remember when Mother passed away in the hospital, after completing the forms, we got into the car; the first song from the radio was Gigi Leung’s (梁詠琪) ‘Today’.
I will now share a section of the song's lyrics that touched me the most:
別了依然相信, 以後有緣再聚, 未曾重遇以前, 要珍惜愛自己,
在最好時刻分離,不要流眼淚, 就承諾在某年, 某一天, 某地點, 再見!
Farewell, still believe, if predestined we’ll meet again.
Meanwhile, please take good care of yourself
We parted at the best of times, please don’t cry,
let’s promise to meet on a certain year, a certain day, a certain place.
Zai Jian.
Translator: Tamaya
