Huran Magazine, issue 306
2001-06-08 忽然一周第 306 期
有偈傾那時媽媽很年青！ : 人物專訪
TN: This interview was to be published on Mother's Day but so as not to upset readers on that day it was shelved until June.
Mom Was So Very Young Then!
In the series, “On The Track or Off”, Steven grieves inconsolably over the death of Little Flying Elephant, wailing and weeping loudly. That show went on to become a hit, earning instant fame for the series and its cast.
Two years back, when his mom passed away, Steven did not wail nor weep; instead he isolated himself in his house for 2 months. Gradually, he came to accept his mom’s death, slowly letting go of his denial and anger, and decisively headed to a new chapter.
Today, Steven can discuss his mother without pain, except for a twinge of regret that just when his career was taking off after years of struggling, Mom would not be there to see it. Steven says maybe it is so fated. Two years ago, he was not famous, so he had had plenty of time to spend with his mom before she passed away. Mom is gone, but he knows how to deal with his grief now, but truly Mom died too young. She was only 48 years old.
I request a copy of his mother’s photo to be published in the magazine. Steven refuses, for many a time in the past, the photos that he lent to the media for publication were never returned to him. He wants to preserve his mom's memory, therefore can’t afford to lose any mementos.
22 Years of Pain
One can only mature through life experiences. Having experienced his mother’s twenty years' struggle with cancer, Steven thought he had seen through life and death. Actually, he had only unwittingly cornered himself into a dead end, unable to let go... until in 1999 when his mom died without saying good did he change his outlook on life.
"To have survived 22 years of cancer was indeed a miracle. All these years, I had become accustomed to having a patient in the house, accustomed to taking care of her. I thought I could handle life and death; however, thinking and reality are two separate issues. Even seeing her health worsened, seeing her suffered, I was not ready to let her go. But to have her carry on was to make her suffer.
"In 1977, when I was still very young, she was diagnosed with nose cancer. Only electrotherapy could help her then, and prolonged her life. After 15 years of being in remission, the cancer returned in force. The electrotherapy aggravated her already dried skin causing it to ooze pus. Gradually, she lost her hearing and couldn’t hear our voices. Her taste sensation was next to go. Her speech suffered, only her children and husband could understand what she said. The treatment also inflicted her brain causing enzymes unbalance, which in turn affected her moods. That was around 1997, 1998. I was shooting Healing Hands 1 then. There were people who questioned Steven’s frequent mysterious disappearances; but truly I had my own reason.
"For me, Mom suffered and endured the most during that period. When I heard people griped about their suffering, I often erupted, “Suffer? Do you know what true suffering is? Suffer more than my mom?” I often became panicky. I could not relax. I found faults with everything around me. I couldn’t concentrate on my career; no fame no accomplishment; no wonder it was so. Anyway, nonentity allowed me to spend more time with Mom. The prolonged electrotherapy gradually stiffened her jaw and neck causing problematic salivation, and ingestion of food. The doctor recommended drilling a hole in the stomach; she refused. She could not bear more pain, but we persuaded her to have the procedure. She finally consented to it. But before dawn after the procedure, suffering an acute pneumonia, she died. Her death was painless as she unconsciously slipped away. We did not get to say goodbye. I believed she wished it that way because she could not bear to leave us behind, or see our devastation at her leaving. Mom had always placed her children’s happiness ahead of everything. She was contented to have Dad be there for her at her deathbed.
"I don’t feel guilt or regrets towards my Mom for despite her illness, she had known happiness; still to die at 48 years old was just too young.”
Top Earnings
Steven says: Fortuity leaves when one’s heart overflows with resentment and jealousies. But when the heart is emptied of anxiety and concerns, the resentment will naturally dissipate and disappear on its own. Since January, 2000 beginning with “The Return of the Cuckoo”, he has worked nonstop. He earned the most money within the next 2 years.
Having reached bottom in his personal life and career in 1999, Steven recouped after 2 months of intensive introspection. From year 2000 till 2001, he worked nonstop making 85 tv episodes, 3 movies, 4 commercials, and cutting 1 album, all in one go. “So far in my life, I made the most money within these two years. Ever mindful of showbiz’s fickleness, I made the most of what I could earn upfront, at the same time, carefully contemplating a fall-back career route. My present success came about because of my own diligence and compliance. Whatever TVB wanted me to do, I did. Frankly, TVB is jam-packed with budding actors. It will not mess up its production schedule for anybody. Also, one less actor gone does not mean one extra position to be filled. When people became famous and enjoyed some success, they might become arrogant and demanding. But they should remember who assisted them in their time of needs, and gave them their start. I started from the bottom up to today’s male lead; I know how to be appreciative and grateful.
No Regrets
When asked if it was pity that he became famous only after his mom’s death, Steven said he looks more to the present than the past. What is more important to him now are his father and sisters; and that he can share with them his accomplishments. It means a lot to him that he has them to join in his success. “When Mom was alive, she was happy. Big sister was a nurse, and her husband was a physical therapist, so Mom was well taken of at home. Her afflictions such as: infected wounds, atrophied extremities, so on and so forth, as well as, medicinal care were all taken care of by family members. We had never employed a maid to tend to her. Also, the staff in Elizabeth Hospital knew that Mom had a good husband and filial children during those 20 odd years. That was happiness….She’s gone now but I have no regrets.”
reporter: 馮慧詩
Translated by Tamaya
Source: xici fansite
related material: VV @asianfanatics2001-06-08 忽然一周第 306 期
有偈傾那時媽媽很年青！ : 人物專訪
TN: This interview was to be published on Mother's Day but so as not to upset readers on that day it was shelved until June.
Mom Was So Very Young Then!
In the series, “On The Track or Off”, Steven grieves inconsolably over the death of Little Flying Elephant, wailing and weeping loudly. That show went on to become a hit, earning instant fame for the series and its cast.
Two years back, when his mom passed away, Steven did not wail nor weep; instead he isolated himself in his house for 2 months. Gradually, he came to accept his mom’s death, slowly letting go of his denial and anger, and decisively headed to a new chapter. Today, Steven can discuss his mother without pain, except for a twinge of regret that just when his career was taking off after years of struggling, Mom would not be there to see it. Steven says maybe it is so fated. Two years ago, he was not famous, so he had had plenty of time to spend with his mom before she passed away. Mom is gone, but he knows how to deal with his grief now, but truly Mom died too young. She was only 48 years old.
I request a copy of his mother’s photo to be published in the magazine. Steven refuses, for many a time in the past, the photos that he lent to the media for publication were never returned to him. He wants to preserve his mom's memory, therefore can’t afford to lose any mementos.
22 Years of PainOne can only mature through life experiences. Having experienced his mother’s twenty years' struggle with cancer, Steven thought he had seen through life and death. Actually, he had only unwittingly cornered himself into a dead end, unable to let go... until in 1999 when his mom died without saying good did he change his outlook on life.
"To have survived 22 years of cancer was indeed a miracle. All these years, I had become accustomed to having a patient in the house, accustomed to taking care of her. I thought I could handle life and death; however, thinking and reality are two separate issues. Even seeing her health worsened, seeing her suffered, I was not ready to let her go. But to have her carry on was to make her suffer.
"In 1977, when I was still very young, she was diagnosed with nose cancer. Only electrotherapy could help her then, and prolonged her life. After 15 years of being in remission, the cancer returned in force. The electrotherapy aggravated her already dried skin causing it to ooze pus. Gradually, she lost her hearing and couldn’t hear our voices. Her taste sensation was next to go. Her speech suffered, only her children and husband could understand what she said. The treatment also inflicted her brain causing enzymes unbalance, which in turn affected her moods. That was around 1997, 1998. I was shooting Healing Hands 1 then. There were people who questioned Steven’s frequent mysterious disappearances; but truly I had my own reason.
"I don’t feel guilt or regrets towards my Mom for despite her illness, she had known happiness; still to die at 48 years old was just too young.”
Top Earnings
Steven says: Fortuity leaves when one’s heart overflows with resentment and jealousies. But when the heart is emptied of anxiety and concerns, the resentment will naturally dissipate and disappear on its own. Since January, 2000 beginning with “The Return of the Cuckoo”, he has worked nonstop. He earned the most money within the next 2 years.
Having reached bottom in his personal life and career in 1999, Steven recouped after 2 months of intensive introspection. From year 2000 till 2001, he worked nonstop making 85 tv episodes, 3 movies, 4 commercials, and cutting 1 album, all in one go. “So far in my life, I made the most money within these two years. Ever mindful of showbiz’s fickleness, I made the most of what I could earn upfront, at the same time, carefully contemplating a fall-back career route. My present success came about because of my own diligence and compliance. Whatever TVB wanted me to do, I did. Frankly, TVB is jam-packed with budding actors. It will not mess up its production schedule for anybody. Also, one less actor gone does not mean one extra position to be filled. When people became famous and enjoyed some success, they might become arrogant and demanding. But they should remember who assisted them in their time of needs, and gave them their start. I started from the bottom up to today’s male lead; I know how to be appreciative and grateful.
No Regrets
When asked if it was pity that he became famous only after his mom’s death, Steven said he looks more to the present than the past. What is more important to him now are his father and sisters; and that he can share with them his accomplishments. It means a lot to him that he has them to join in his success. “When Mom was alive, she was happy. Big sister was a nurse, and her husband was a physical therapist, so Mom was well taken of at home. Her afflictions such as: infected wounds, atrophied extremities, so on and so forth, as well as, medicinal care were all taken care of by family members. We had never employed a maid to tend to her. Also, the staff in Elizabeth Hospital knew that Mom had a good husband and filial children during those 20 odd years. That was happiness….She’s gone now but I have no regrets.”
reporter: 馮慧詩
Translated by Tamaya
Source: xici fansite
In 1999, Ultra Protection did not win a good viewers rate. On top of this, Steven has to bear the pain of losing his mom who has been cancer-strickened for more than 20 years but finally succumbed to cancer. What pains Steven most was he wasn't able to see her off. He isolated himself at home and landed in a state of despondency. "A good friend encouraged me by telling me a story by his teacher -- You can never diminish the pain brought to you by the death of your loved ones, and that this type of pain cannot be consoled by any logic, because in life, there must be tolerance. And being faced with death of loved ones, you will learn to treasure the ones remaining around you. It will also make you stronger. "I was in tears on reading that. I started reading his teacher's writings. They are all very aspiring. They made me realise that true life has to go through experiences and understand and accept that the cycle of life, old age, sickness and death is natural."
----chinese--
那 时 妈 妈 很 年 青 ！
《 勇 往 直 前 》 ， 马 浚 伟 痛 失 了 小 飞 象 ， 哭 哭 啼 啼 ， 又 呼 天 抢 地 ， 结 果 ， 剧 集 收 视 理 想 ， 红 了 剧 又 红 了 人 。
两 年 前 ， 马 浚 伟 妈 妈 去 世 ， 他 没 有 呼 天 抢 地 ， 但 却 呆 在 家 两 个 月 ， 结 果 ， 想 通 了 ， 放 下 了 一 大 堆 抱 怨 及 控 诉 ， 从 新 做 人 … … 这 访 问 本 应 於 母 亲 节 出 街 ， 但 涉 及 一 位 已 去 世 的 母 亲 及 她 二 十 年 的 苦 痛 经 历 ， 为 免 写 的 及 看 的 不 舒 服 ， 结 果 延 至 现 在 。
今 天 马 浚 伟 再 提 妈 妈 也 没 有 伤 心 ， 只 是 捱 到 今 天 才 有 点 成 绩 ， 妈 妈 却 看 不 见 ， 马 浚 伟 说 可 能 是 天 意 。 两 年 多 前 ， 他 不 红 ， 所 以 在 妈 妈 临 终 前 ， 一 直 有 时 间 陪 妈 妈 ， 那 时 他 曾 经 带 过 陈 芷 菁 探 望 病 重 的 妈 妈 。 现 在 陈 芷 菁 有 了 台 湾 男 友 。 妈 妈 离 去 了 ， 马 浚 伟 说 他 懂 得 怎 样 令 自 己 好 过 点 。 不 过 妈 妈 去 时 ， 实 太 年 轻 ， 才 48 岁 。 问 马 浚 伟 拿 一 张 从 前 与 母 亲 的 合 照 来 刊 登 ， 他 拒 绝 ， 因 为 以 前 为 了 宣 传 ， 曾 经 很 多 次 把 旧 照 片 借 给 传 媒 刊 登 ， 结 果 一 借 冇 回 头 。 他 与 妈 妈 的 回 忆 ， 要 好 好 保 存 ， 不 能 再 遗 失 ！
二 十 年 的 痛 苦
总 会 有 些 经 历 使 自 己 长 大 。
眼 见 妈 妈 用 了 二 十 年 抗 癌 ， 马 浚 伟 以 为 自 己 看 透 了 人 生 。 其 实 把 自 己 困 了 在 死 角 ， 不 能 释 放 … … 直 至 ， 99 年 妈 妈 的 不 辞 而 别 ， 才 改 变 了 他 的 想 法 。
能 拖 二 十 年 的 癌 症 ， 其 实 是 奇 迹 。 这 么 多 年 以 来 ， 习 惯 了 家 有 一 个 病 人 ， 习 惯 照 顾 她 ， 慢 慢 以 为 自 己 看 透 了 生 死 ， 但 事 实 与 想 法 是 两 回 事 。 见 她 病 情 恶 化 ， 见 她 辛 苦 ， 我 仍 然 不 想 她 离 开 我 ， 但 要 她 捱 ， 等 於 害 她 … …
1977 年 ， 我 很 小 的 时 候 ， 她 发 现 自 己 有 鼻 胭 癌 ， 那 时 ， 只 有 电 疗 才 帮 到 她 。 电 疗 使 她 的 命 长 了 ， 但 过 了 15 年 正 常 生 活 後 ， 都 复 发 。 再 次 电 疗 使 她 已 经 乾 涸 的 皮 肤 更 差 ， 不 时 含 脓 ， 接 她 再 听 不 到 我 们 的 声 音 、 再 没 有 味 觉 ， 她 亦 开 始 口 齿 不 清 ， 她 的 说 话 ， 只 有 子 女 、 丈 夫 才 听 得 懂 。 受 破 坏 的 脑 下 垂 体 组 织 ， 使 她 分 泌 失 调 ， 病 情 上 落 很 大 ， 那 时 候 是 97 、 98 年 ， 我 正 拍 《 妙 手 仁 心 》 ， 所 以 很 多 人 说 马 浚 伟 经 常 无 故 失 ， 但 我 有 我 原 因 。
那 段 时 间 ， 在 我 心 目 中 ， 妈 妈 最 惨 、 最 辛 苦 ， 当 有 人 系 我 面 前 叫 辛 苦 ， 我 会 闹 「 辛 苦 ， 你 知 乜 叫 辛 苦 咩 ？ 辛 苦 得 过 我 阿 妈 咩 ？ 」 乜 都 睇 唔 顺 眼 ， 个 人 经 常 有 忧 虑 ， 我 放 松 唔 倒 ， 埋 怨 身 边 所 有 事 物 。 完 全 不 能 专 心 於 事 业 ， 唔 红 、 冇 成 绩 都 应 该 。 况 且 唔 红 ， 反 而 可 以 有 多 一 点 时 间 陪 妈 妈 。
到 了 後 期 ， 妈 妈 因 电 疗 ， 下 颚 及 整 条 颈 都 硬 了 ， 食 流 质 食 物 都 有 问 题 ， 医 生 建 议 在 胃 开 窿 ， 她 不 肯 ， 因 为 不 想 再 受 苦 ， 而 我 们 全 家 用 了 很 多 时 间 去 劝 她 ， 最 後 她 肯 ， 就 在 做 手 术 後 的 那 一 天 凌 晨 ， 她 因 为 急 性 肺 炎 … … 那 时 候 爸 爸 在 她 身 边 ， 她 没 有 痛 苦 ， 只 是 昏 迷 。 我 们 见 不 到 她 离 开 ， 相 信 是 她 的 选 择 ， 因 为 她 舍 不 得 我 们 ， 又 不 想 我 们 太 刻 骨 铭 心 。 妈 妈 永 远 只 想 子 女 快 乐 ， 有 爸 爸 陪 她 已 经 足 够 。
对 妈 妈 ， 我 没 有 内 疚 或 遗 憾 ， 因 为 「 树 欲 静 而 风 不 息 … … 」 永 远 不 能 套 用 於 我 家 ， 她 是 有 病 ， 但 她 是 最 幸 福 的 。 但 48 岁 便 离 开 ， 太 年 轻 ！
带 女 仔 返 家
与 陈 芷 菁 ， 一 直 传 绯 闻 ， 最 近 女 的 有 了 新 男 友 。
所 有 父 母 总 想 见 自 己 子 女 成 长 ， 成 家 ， 久 病 在 床 的 母 亲 就 更 加 … …
爸 爸 都 好 想 我 结 婚 ， 但 绝 对 唔 会 迫 。 但 每 次 带 个 女 仔 返 屋 企 就 弊 … 猛 问 「 呢 个 呀 ？ 」 我 曾 经 带 过 返 屋 企 的 女 仔 有 很 多 ， 陈 芷 菁 是 其 中 一 个 ， 妈 妈 好 高 兴 ， 但 我 讲 明 只 属 朋 友 关 系 。 （ 与 陈 芷 菁 有 没 有 机 会 发 展 ？ ） 没 有 一 事 件 说 没 有 可 能 ， 但 以 我 所 知 她 现 在 有 个 台 湾 男 朋 友 … …
同 性 恋
同 性 恋 这 话 题 曾 与 马 浚 伟 扯 上 百 千 次 ， 而 绯 闻 男 友 正 是 他 的 经 理 人 ， 送 车 又 送 楼 ， 照 顾 周 到 ， 关 系 的 确 有 点 奇 怪 。
经 理 人 对 我 好 是 应 该 的 ， 我 不 需 要 证 明 些 甚 么 ， 我 大 可 以 拖 个 相 熟 的 女 性 朋 友 出 来 辟 谣 ， 但 我 不 想 。 我 知 说 太 多 有 关 工 作 的 话 题 ， 大 家 会 闷 ， 没 有 兴 趣 ， 所 以 有 绯 闻 ， 我 接 受 ， 麦 包 （ 麦 长 青 ） 未 结 婚 前 都 被 人 说 与 陈 浩 民 有 路 … …
我 清 楚 绯 闻 的 话 题 性 ， 所 以 我 上 年 度 的 见 报 率 是 零 ， 而 今 年 就 不 同 … …
钱 赚 到
马 浚 伟 说 ， 人 有 怨 气 ， 有 妒 忌 ， 好 运 便 会 离 去 。 当 心 底 再 冇 牵 挂 、 顾 虑 ， 那 些 怨 气 亦 随 之 离 去 。 2000 年 1 月 开 始 拍 《 十 月 初 五 的 月 光 》 ， 直 至 现 在 ， 没 有 停 下 来 ， 这 两 年 他 赚 的 钱 最 多 。
99 年 心 情 低 潮 ， 事 业 低 潮 ， 休 息 两 个 月 後 ， 开 始 清 楚 自 己 路 向 ， 一 口 气 由 2000 年 至 01 年 拍 了 85 集 电 视 剧 、 3 部 电 影 、 4 个 广 告 及 录 了 1 张 唱 片 。 这 两 年 是 我 一 生 以 来 赚 钱 最 多 的 时 候 。
但 我 清 楚 娱 乐 圈 转 得 好 快 ， 所 以 能 做 幕 前 时 我 会 尽 量 做 ， 但 仍 会 找 後 路 。
我 在 TVB 有 今 日 的 成 绩 ， 都 因 为 我 勤 力 ， 听 话 。 TVB 叫 我 做 甚 么 ， 我 都 会 做 ， 事 实 上 ， TVB 大 把 小 生 ， 唔 会 为 某 一 个 人 而 搞 乱 制 度 ， 亦 并 唔 代 表 少 一 个 会 多 一 个 位 。
当 你 红 ， 有 成 绩 时 ， 就 会 谂 「 喂 ！ 我 应 该 有 的 不 止 这 些 」 ， 便 会 开 始 有 要 求 ， 但 冇 人 会 回 想 自 己 倒 霉 时 边 个 睇 你 、 边 个 给 你 机 会 。
我 由 文 员 甲 做 起 ， 到 今 日 的 主 角 ， 我 知 甚 么 叫 珍 惜 。
没 有 内 疚
问 马 浚 伟 妈 妈 去 世 後 才 红 ， 有 没 有 可 惜 。
他 说 会 顾 及 在 生 的 人 的 感 受 多 过 已 去 的 。 现 在 最 重 要 的 是 爸 爸 及 姊 姊 们 ， 所 有 成 绩 可 以 与 他 们 分 享 ， 重 要 的 是 有 人 与 你 分 享 。
「 妈 妈 生 前 ， 她 很 幸 福 ， 姊 姊 是 护 士 、 姐 夫 是 物 理 治 疗 师 ， 所 以 妈 妈 在 家 亦 有 医 护 人 员 照 顾 。 伤 口 烂 、 手 脚 肌 肉 变 硬 、 水 肿 後 推 水 、 敷 药 、 喂 奶 全 由 家 人 一 手 照 料 。
「 我 们 从 没 有 请 过 工 人 照 顾 她 。 而 整 个 伊 利 沙 伯 医 院 都 知 妈 妈 有 个 好 丈 夫 、 有 孝 顺 的 儿 女 ， 二 十 年 来 没 有 间 断 ， 这 叫 幸 福 。
「 她 去 了 ， 我 没 有 内 疚 ！ 」
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