Review by a blogger

Posted by tamaya on 11 November 2009 - 10:42 AM 

Steven dedicated two essays in 《图文并谬》 to his mom. Much have already been written and reported on his mother, but that's not the main reason why I chose not to translate either one of them. I didn't because I knew I would not be able to do justice to Steven's writings even if I were to translate them verbatim. The 'heart' in those essays would be inevitably lost in translation; like what the blogger wrote: "A very moving story indeed, but the emotions aroused were not through the written words, but through what were not written."

作者:晚来风急 - a Singapore TV scriptwriter
http://cpengng.blogspot.com/
translator: Tamaya

Taiwan television has grown by leaps and bounds this past decade with the satellite channels predominating in my household, hence I have not watched TVB series for a long time now. One day while at a bookstore I came upon the name, “Ma Chun Wai”, I did not even know that TVB had such a person. The other book that also momentarily caught my eye was Pang Jie’s 潘秀琼 (tn: Poon Sow Keng, a 60s-70s famous singer) biography. Both are books by artistes: one is a biography; the other,  a collection of prose essays. I chose Ma Chun Wai’s 《图文并谬》.

That I chose Ma Chun Wai’s is not because he is an artiste but that I could not believe an artist can write a book.  Like how Pang Jie’s book is not written by her, but Ma Chun Wai’s is a prose essay book at that. Artiste vs prose essays – made me very curious; enticing because it intrigues. What kind of a logic is this? None, just intuition. So my apologies to Pang Jie for I only skimmed her book penned by 玉嬌 before returning it back on its spot on the shelf.


Actually, what made me pick Ma Chun Wai was primarily because of the few pages he wrote of his mother. Mother Ma passed away because of cancer. Ma Chun Wai’s writing was unadorned and subdued yet imbued with heart and genuineness.  I have never appreciated melodramatic essays; too much histrionics. In fact, the over-the-top kind of unrestrained emotional essays made me feel smothered.

He wrote when his mother was diagnosed with cancer, he was only six years old. At the time when  his mother frequently carried a heap of medicines home after her doctor visit, he was merely curious. Why mother had to consume so much medicine?

During middle school, when he finally knew what cancer was, he was panic stricken and felt helpless. He went to a corner at the school all by himself and sobbed bitterly.

Mother under Father and family’s solicitous care lived her life uneventfully for 22 years. Just when we thought Mother was blessed, the author’s pen tip shifted. He wrote that within those 22 years, she had had 3 relapses; her hearing, smell, and taste faculties; all gone. Just one sentence conveys a ton of unbearable pain.

It is precisely this kind of pen strokes that evinced Ma Chun Wai’s restrain. Later, Mother even lost the ability to ingest food, therefore could not eat. Doctor said the only way to let her live was to drill a hole into her stomach to get food into her. But Mother refused. Naturally, the author did not want to force her, but at the same time, he felt helpless against life. So at that very moment, for the very first time, he wept helplessly in front of his mother. That Mother could persist over the years of adversity was due to her unceasing optimism in the face of suffering. Son crying in the public was like a knife into Mother’s heart, and so she gave in. Subsequently, food flowed into the stomach, but the lungs got infected; she departed.

A very moving story indeed, but the emotions aroused were not through the written words, but through what were not written.

To better understand Ma Chun Wai, I watched some of his short videos which further deepens my appreciation for this Hong Kong artiste. As artistes, they should possess this kind of class and inner substance (氣質和內涵). Both are artistes of small islands, but I just can’t understand why ours are so much more inferior?

-- original in Chinese

馬浚偉和他的散文集《圖文並謬》

近十年，台灣電視長足發展，衛星頻道幾乎佔據了我家的電視，好久沒觀賞TVB的電視劇，那天在書局看到“馬浚偉”這個名字，居然不知道“無線電視”有這號人物。同時被我看到的另一本書，是“潘姐”潘秀瓊的個人專輯。兩本同是藝人的書籍，一本是故事生平，一本是散文集選，最后，我選擇了馬浚偉的 《圖文並謬》。


選擇馬浚偉，不因為他是藝人，而是不相信藝人能自己撰書。潘姐的專輯就不是她動筆的，馬浚偉的是散文。藝人vs散文，使我很好奇，很有吸引力，因為有神秘感。這是甚麼邏輯？但確實是直感。所以，我對潘姐很抱歉，只在書架前匆匆瀏覽玉嬌寫她的故事，然後架回櫃上。其實，讓我“點中”馬浚偉，更多的是他那幾篇追思他媽媽的故事。

馬媽媽去世了，是患上癌症走的。馬浚偉的文筆淡淡地，暗暗地，卻情真意切。不喜歡灑狗血的文章，太歇斯底里。那種呼天喚地的情感泛濫，反叫人喘不過氣來。他說媽媽罹患癌症時他6歲，每次在復診回家的路上，媽媽端著一堆藥，他只是很好奇。為甚麼媽媽要吃那麼多藥？

中學的時候，當他知道甚麼是癌症時，他驚慌失措，一個人跑到學校的角落痛哭一場。

媽媽在爸爸和家人的細心照顧下，平安地渡過了22年。正當我們為馬媽媽感到慶幸的時候，作者筆鋒一轉，說她在這22年中復發了三次，沒有了聽力、嗅覺和味覺。

就這一行字，載不動的，是千斤的痛。就是這樣的筆觸，足見馬浚偉文字的威懾。媽媽最後連食道的功能也失去了，不能進食。醫生說，唯有在她的肚子開一個小洞，把流質食物直接送入胃中才能活命。可是，媽媽不願意。作者自然不想勉強媽媽，但又對生命的稍縱即逝感到莫可奈何。霎那間，他第一次在媽媽面前，無助地哭了。

讓馬媽媽能堅持這麼多年的折騰，是在病痛前面，始終保持樂觀的心態。兒子這次當眾哭了，讓媽媽心如刀割，於是答應了。結果，食物流到胃中，但是肺部感染了，走了。很感人的故事，但是感人的情緒不在字面中，而匿於不言處為了了解馬浚偉多一些，我看了他的一些短片，越發欣賞這位香港藝人。當藝人，就是要有這樣的氣質和內涵，都是小島上生活的藝人，我一直不解，為甚麼我們的差那麼多？


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